He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
i almost pissed myself reading this
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
i almost pissed myself reading this
null-set asked:
Standing up in front of a large crowd alone with a microphone is reserved mostly for my nightmares.
uprockinrainbow asked:
Anyone heard of Christian Weston Chandler and Sonichu? CWC's been on the internet for years now.
this really reads like the opening to a stand-up comedy monologue
The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate, when racism is bigger than that. Racism is a complex system of social and political levers and pulleys set up generations ago to continue working on the behalf of whites at other people’s expense, whether whites know/like it or not. Racism is an insidious cultural disease. It is so insidious that it doesn’t care if you are a white person who likes black people; it’s still going to find a way to infect how you deal with people who don’t look like you. Yes, racism looks like hate, but hate is just one manifestation. Privilege is another. Access is another. Ignorance is another. Apathy is another. And so on. So while I agree with people who say no one is born racist, it remains a powerful system that we’re immediately born into. It’s like being born into air: you take it in as soon as you breathe. It’s not a cold that you can get over. There is no anti-racist certification class. It’s a set of socioeconomic traps and cultural values that are fired up every time we interact with the world. It is a thing you have to keep scooping out of the boat of your life to keep from drowning in it. I know it’s hard work, but it’s the price you pay for owning everything.
Baron Vaughn (x)
I’ve never seen such an appropriate font change in a gif set.
ALWAYS. REBLOOP.
Never fails to cheer me up.
Always reblog.
Click through to the video, he manages to pull off the tone-of-voice equivalent of that font change.
SUPER EXCITED FOR OUR NEW TOM SERVO
Today, it is TFWiki’s sad duty to report on the passing of actor Dick Gautier, who provided the voice of Rodimus Prime in the original Transformers animated series. His wife Tess Hightower reports that he “quietly passed away” last night, January 13, 2017, at 85 years of age.
Born in Culver City, California, on October 30, 1931, Gautier was already an artist, jazz performer, and stand-up comedian from his mid-teens. A stint in the Navy took him to San Francisco, where he honed his skills in the famous “hungry i” nightclub, and from there, his career took him to New York, where he performed on Broadway and sang in the Bonsoir club with a young Barbra Streisand. In his live-action career, he would go on to appear in over 800 television shows, including The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Murder She Wrote, Charlie’s Angels, and Fantasy Island, and was a frequent game show panelist, but is perhaps best known for the role of Hymie the robot on Get Smart. In the realm of voice-acting, he portrayed Serpentor on the original G.I. Joe cartoon, and had roles in several other contemporary shows. He continued to perform on stage often, and his artistic skills were kept just as finely-tuned as his performing ones, as he authored ten books on illustration and caricaturing. He considers his proudest accomplishment the fact that “he never hosted his own talk show.”
Sad news, but a long life lived, with a long and varied career that I’m sure left him with no regrets at the end. I had the pleasure of doing a podcast interview with him once, several years ago; he’s a great storyteller!
https://www.mixcloud.com/moonbase2spodcast/interview-with-dick-gautier/
Pages 187-188
Lorraine asks Marty to go to the dance with him! These two pages get taken care of real quick in the movie:
MARTY: Wow, you mean… nobody’s asked you?
LORRAINE: No. Not yet.
MARTY: What about George?
LORRAINE [slowly advancing on Marty]: George McFly? Oh, he’s kinda cute and all, but, well, I think a man should be strong, so he could stand up for himself… and protect the woman he loves.[Marty and Doc look at each other]
LORRAINE: Don’t you?
MARTY [reluctantly]: …Yeah.
Then it cuts to George and Marty talking about how Marty’s now taking her to the dance. Pretty tight! We realize that Marty’s been put into a tight spot and can’t really say no to her, and fill in all the blanks ourselves.
But what if - what if we didn’t WANT to fill in those blanks? WHAT IF we wanted every single detail about this exchange? WHAT IF okay hah hah I’ll stop teasing YES OF COURSE the book describes this scene with lots and lots of words!
It begins as Lorraine asks Marty to the dance and Marty clears this throat nervously and glances down at his feet (which foot? His right foot! YES OF COURSE IT’S SPECIFIED.) Then most of the next two pages is taken up with Marty and Lorraine back and forth on why he can’t go to the dance which I will now summarize as briefly as possible but guys it’s pretty hard:
This version DOES make it clear that taking Lorraine is his only choice, but it’s not really needed: I don’t think anyone watched the movie and thought “Oh man secretly Marty wants to take Lorraine!” and the gentle pressure of Movie Lorraine is way more effective (and better for the character, keeping her sweet but determined!) than her outright emotional manipulation here, what with the crying and the ultimatums.
The page ends with Marty saying “Oh God, now I have to convince my father to go stag” and Doc saying maybe he can take someone else, and Marty says “Doc, you may be a genius with flux capacitors and electricity and space-time continuums, but when you say I have to find another gal for that nerd at this late date, you’re really asking the impossible.” and hah hah yep, Book Marty’s still calling his dad a nerd every chance he gets!
“I hear some of you complaining “women always say they want a nice guy.” I know lots of women — I’m even related to a few — and I can’t say I’ve ever heard any of them say that. I can’t prove it, but this sounds like one of those things stand-up comedians say about women and everyone else just repeats. I’ve also never known a woman who cries when she breaks a nail — although I’ve known a few who swear like a 15-year-old sailor in jail — and I’ve never had a woman ask me if her outfit made her look fat unless she actually wanted and subsequently appreciated my opinion. So either I’ve stumbled upon a secret trove of women who aren’t passive-aggressive sob machines, or you need to stop mistaking Dane Cook routines for peer-reviewed sociological studies.”
—
Lore Sjöberg, Alt Text: Taking Another Look at the Myth of the ‘Nice Guy’ (via aconybell)
GOD i love lore.
(via heatherbat)
That stopped sort of the best quote ever.
“At any rate, if a woman does say “I just wish I could find a nice guy,” I would suggest this is the equivalent of “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.” Which is to say, she’s not hoping you’ll say, “You’re in luck, I have a dead horse in my backyard!” "
lore is great
forrestpicketttaylori asked:
Well, so long as you’re finding subtle deeply-hidden uplifting messages and not being encouraged to do what she was actually trying to encourage people to do, then, uh, godspeed!
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
genuinely my favorite stand up bit. i nearly drove off the road the first time i heard it.
always reblog
get in the robot, shaggy