gutsyfrog asked:
itswalky answered:
Drawing thin people is actually pretty frustrating for me. I kept on trying to plump up Dorothy, but, no, she’s thin. I just wanna draw some fat folds, dammit! It would have been half the fun of doing Amber/Mike instead of Leslie/Robin, but I was in a romantic instead of angry mood when I chose which of those to draw, so we got the happy couple instead of the hatefuckers.
Publicly drawing sex is this new arena for me, and I knew going in that who I’d be drawing would be seen as a statement, and it’s part of why I hesitated. I try to represent different kinds of people as much as I can in my non-porn stories, and I would be expected to do that with my porn-porn as well. But at the same time, I’m kind of scared out of my mind doing this stuff, and so I was really thankful that Dorothy and Walky were the pair I first had the opportunity to depict. I mean, sex to me is this very emotionally and physically intimate thing that I have only ever done with one other person in my entire life, and so I was relieved that Walky/Dorothy aren’t far from what I know. Less opportunity to embarrass myself with ignorance. It’s fucking scary. I threw up like three times the day that story went live, and yet I could still vouch for whatever happened in it as a Thing That Can Happen When Two Straight Cis People Do It. It was safe material, but I really needed that safe material as my first step.
I am a wreck. I seriously did not ever grasp my dick until I was nineteen because I was afraid my dead grandmother was watching me. I mean, I still looked at porn whenever possible, but I wouldn’t touch myself, because that was more evil that I was willing to be. And, then, you know, after somehow reaching satisfaction without ever having touched anything, I would then listen to contemporary Christian rock on repeat until I cried myself to sleep. I will repeat this: I am a wreck.
I promise that I will get more outside my personal comfort zone as I gain experience in this, but I also hope that everyone takes to heart that I am also a messed-up human being who, while definitely wanting to please all kinds of people and not wanting to make anyone feel excluded, is also trying to unpack his several decades of debilitating sexual issues without having more than a handful of anxiety attacks per hour. I need these baby steps. Translated: I will be drawing a lot of cis people in the meantime.
I thank everyone for their patience.
David and I had similar childhoods, in that our realities were governed by extremely religious women. Where as David was taught to fear the shameful sin of sex, I was never taught ANYTHING about sex, other than NOT to do it. I don’t believe my actual parents even told me this much. it was probably my church or my internalization of what I’d heard in church that told me not to do it. So, being armed with nothing but the knowledge that sex was something not to do, I did it. Starting at 15, I did it a lot. Sex was basically the only thing my first highschool girlfriend and I had in common, so we did little else. I learned from TV and movies and I learned from doing. I reconciled my sex-havings with my southern Baptist Christian upbringing by telling myself we were eventually going to get married. HAH! (proceeded by infinity more HAHs).
Had I been taught ANYTHING AT ALL about sex, I might have made a some better decisions about when to do it and who to do it with. I was smart enough to use protection, but what if I wasn’t? No one ever told me what a condom was or how to use it. I probably learned about condoms from Seinfeld or Friends. I was too embarrassed to buy them myself, but my 1st girlfriend seemed to have a stockpile. That should have been a clue that perhaps I was at risk for catching STD’s that didn’t necessarily originate from she or I. I was lucky. It is by pure chance that I didn’t get her pregnant or contract a disease. A small amount of honest and judgement free education would have gone SUCH a long way.
My daughter is 6 years old. She already knows what sex is, how it works and what it’s for. She knows that people do it for fun and people do it to make babies and that it’s how we made her when we say we “made” her. She knows what condoms are and that people can choose to prevent pregnancy. When she’s 15, sex isn’t going to be a mystery or a shameful, embarrassing taboo. She’ll still have plenty of decisions to make, but hopefully the information she has will help her make wise ones.
Bottom line: BE HONEST WITH YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX HOLY CRAP IT’S SO IMPORTANT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?!?!?!?
Regarding David, he said it. He IS a wreck in some ways. But, the more I learn about his childhood, the more I think about how long it took me to undo the damage that had been done to me and about how much worse HIS damage was, the more I am amazed at what a wonderful, genuine, creative and hilarious person he is. David isn’t a victim, he’s a god damn champion.
you don’t have to say that to get into my pants, joel, you’re already there
aijoskobi