Thank you for introducing me to Rich Mullins through DoA, though I'm finding that, the more I read about him, the more I'm beginning to wonder, uhh, Joyce has had periods of being confronted with possibly being bi, for Dorothy, staring at Jennifer's chest, etc. Is the belief that Rich Mullins may have been LGBTQ+ part of why he resonated with her? Not that she may even be aware of that, granted.
The dilemma of Rich Mullins is that he’s dead. Of all the other Contemporary Christian Music singers who were once his contemporaries, they’re still alive and performing at maskless Trump rallies. But Rich Mullins is dead, and he was never like them. He never was. He never bought into fundamentalism, and he was depressed and weird and self-hating and you felt that in all of his music except one: “Awesome God,” the single fire-and-brimstone song that people actually liked.
But he was different, and you want him to have grown up to be different, like you. You know you’ve changed, and you’re not like your family anymore, and you have to be alone, and since Rich Mullins is dead, you can pretend he’d’ve been right there with you. You don’t have to give up everything from your childhood. He could still be there. Maybe he’d understand. He was different.
Growing out of your faith, you give up so much. You give up everything. But maybe you can still have Rich Mullins.