This is totally babies

For the sake of the wiki, any chance you can list who the parents of the kids on the strip 'Head Alien Prime' are?

itswalky answered:

I wanna see if anyone can figure it out, first! Give me your guesses, all.

rassilontdavros

All righty then, I’ll throw my hat into the ring! First things first, matching names to faces. While I’m not 100 percent positive on some of the parent identifications, I am basically 100 percent positive that the names themselves are correct:

So now, some further notes on each kid. Spoilers for basically all of Willis’ stuff below:

Perry Brown: explicitly identified in the following strip as the son of Jason Chesterfield and Anti-Joyce Brown. Has Jason’s hair, and the trademark Joyce smile.
Is a half-American, half-British time traveler, and coincidentally has a name which is phonetically identical to that of a Doctor Who companion infamous for her half-American, half-British “accent.”
Brock Doc: explicitly identified in the following strip as the son of Professor Doc and Dina Sarazu. Eeeww.
Not to be confused with the other Brock Doc in Head Alien II’s collection, who is the son of Professor Doc and a female clone of himself. Somehow, the selfcest version strikes me as less horrifying.
Mac Oh Lee: Here’s where things get tricky. It’s easy enough to deduce from the name that this must be the kid of Shortpacked!’s Faz Oh Lee, and it’s obvious which kid in the image is Faz’s. However, Faz is Great, and so is the strength of his genetics-- meaning I had a hard time finding any distinctive physical features from Mac’s other parent. The most obvious feature is the nose, which is more rounded than Faz’s, but that’s not much to go on. Part of the problem is that we don’t have hair colors to work with-- we can’t tell if Mac actually has light hair, or if they have dark hair that’s being illuminated by bright light. It occurred to be that it might also be bleached or dyed-- and it was this train of thought that led me to my current best guess: could it be Mandy Kowalski, formerly of Squad 48? It’s a bizarre pairing, I know, but that’s true of basically any ship involving Faz. Plus, the beginning of Mac’s name matches the beginning of Mandy’s, and Willis has said they often give family members similar names (Joyce’s siblings all start with “J,” Robin’s siblings all start with “R,” and Robin’s kids all rhyme with “Abby”) because it’s easier for them to remember. I’m only about 50 percent sure on this one, but it’s the best guess I’ve got.
Mac is Great.
Bo Wilcox: The name obviously suggests a child of Danny Wilcox, and the kid on the far left of the group has Danny’s head shape. The freckles suggest either Ruth or Howard Lesse-- and the flat-top hair makes me think the latter is more likely (when you know Joe, the gender barrier is a non-issue). Admittedly, I can’t recall Howard ever expressing any interest in men off the top of my head, but neither did Danny prior to Dumbing of Age and Howard hasn’t really appeared enough in that series for the possibility to have been explored, so it’s far from impossible!
Maybe Walkyverse Howard did have a crush on Danny in the Roomies! days, and then abruptly fell out of love with him after Danny caused Ruth’s death, and oh dear I’ve just ripped off Rick Riordan, haven’t I?
Bets Sarazu: The child of Dina Sarazu and Becky MacIntrye! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind whatsoever about this one. The freckles match Becky, the hair matches Walkyverse Becky (who basically just has Joyce’s hairstyle), and the name recalls “Betty,” Becky’s counterpart from Dumbiverse Joyce’s Julia Gray comic strip. What they don’t have are any obvious facial features from their other mom, but I’m going to say they probably have Dina’s eyes-- the goggles give us some leeway in that regard!
I’m guessing they weren’t originally intended to be a Dina/Becky kid, since while the idea of Becky being gay may well have been in Willis’ mind in 2009 (I know the reveal was planned by the time Dumbing of Age began), I’m pretty sure the idea of her being in a relationship with Dina was not. Without the name, my guess would be Joyce and either Howard or Ruth. However, I like the idea of them being a Dina/Becky kid much better because Beckasaur is OTP!

So yeah, not 100% positive on all of these (especially about Mac’s non-Faz parent), but oh well. This was the best I could do. How’s my driving?

itswalky

You’re right on Bets, but only half right on Bo and Mac!

“Mac” is a clue, btw

“Bo” is also a clue, but a much more obscure one

rassilontdavros

I ignored Bo’s first name before, so this time I started thinking about what “Bo” could be a reference to. Was it maybe short for something? The only thing I could come up with was “Robo-Vac.” Since nobody in their right mind would let Danny name a child after Robo-Vac, this meant that the other parent also had to be a Robo-Vac fan. A Robo-Vac fan, with freckles. One who might be overwilling to look a partner’s otherwise-damning flaws because they shared her love of Robo-Vac and nobody else she knew would go see-- okay, the overly narrow description gag has run its course. My new guess is Rachel Jackson, aka the non-“Other Rachel” Rachel!

As for Mac, the only thing I can think of is that the other parent would be... the Cheese? Is such a thing possible? Maybe it’s just someone who really, really loves Kraft Mac and oh Cheese, no

itswalky

nah to both, sorry and/or you’re welcome

itswalky

All right, a few folks have made valiant efforts, and nobody’s tried for a bit, so here’s the answers:

Mac Oh Lee: His parents are Faz and Wen. It’s “Mac” because it’s another fast food reference thing, aka McDonald’s

Bo Wilcox: His parents are Danny and Ruth. It’s “Bo” because Boaz married Ruth in the Bible, so that’s an affiliated name in my brain database

Thanks for trying! They were all great guesses.

atomic-black asked:

In your mind, how is Wayne Industries structured?

unpretty answered:

wow this took like six months and ended up a lot longer than i intended and i’m not even sure if i answered the question you were asking

i am ignoring literally everything from canon because canon says that every single company owned by wayne enterprises is called Wayne Insert-Industry-Name-Here and that’s dumb as all hell and i hate it. also i made the company founding contemporary with famous olde rich people like the rockefellers and whatnot because Old Money. i’ll put dates on some of these but on some of them (like when we’re getting real granular) i just cannot be fucked to bother. let’s also agree that there are a bunch of things that are technically subsidiaries but which are actually the exact same goddamn thing just slightly altered because it’s in a different state or something, which i don’t need to list.

i am assuming for these purposes that wayne enterprises is a privately held conglomerate with control having been ceded to a board of directors during thomas wayne’s tenure as ceo-in-name-mostly as well as while the company was in a trust; the board was subsequently dissolved once bruce was old enough to make that decision. privately held companies aren’t obligated to disclose financials or maintain a board, which is great if you’re planning to be batman and also make a lot of theoretically financially unwise decisions like setting a minimum wage of $15 throughout the organization and implementing a cash profit sharing plan.

anti-trust and monopoly laws aren’t an issue because they’re way too diversified and none of their business units dominate their chosen industry. there are probably conspiracy theories that the reason for the immense diversity of interests is actually to keep different markets competitive and protect other businesses from anti-trust suits, which would be pretty compelling if every wayne from the start weren’t fueled by spite and pettiness.

anyone who wants to has blanket permission to use this for whatever because canon is for suckers but so is figuring out corporate structures yourself

tumblr is probably going to completely fuck the formatting so you might want to read this on my other blog instead

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