This movie is my new obsession. It comes out next week and it is the wildest thing I have seen in forever.
It is a Sony Animation movie about Actual Bible Christmas. It is from Sony and Columbia Pictures and the fucking Jim Henson Company. It is not a theatrical Veggie Tales. It seems, in a very real way, to be a film in which Sony Shreks the Synoptic Gospels.
This is wild enough. Then you see the goddamn cast list.
Glenn from Walkingdead is the main character, a talking donkey. Chuck from Chuck is Joseph, Jane the Virgin is Mary which I guess is a pretty good meta joke. But then it just gets wilder from there.
Tracy Morgan, Tyler Perry, and Oprah Winfrey play talking camels, at least one of which seems to have tattoos??? Mariah Carey is a talking chicken. Kristin Chenowith plays a talking pygmy jerboa, which is one of these if you are unfamiliar:
But the one that blows my goddamn mind is that Delilah is playing Elizabeth. Delilah, that nationally syndicated breathy radio DJ who plays fuckin Pat Benatar dedications for late night weirdos, is playing a real for real Bible character. The mother of John the Baptist!
This is a fucking Madagascar movie where John the Baptist might show up!
And, like, the trailer makes it look as if the plot is not about the actual Nativity, but the Flight into Egypt, which is a story in which a king kills dozens of babies in an attempt to murder God! Can the talking camels stop the Massacre of the Innocents in this version?
Who made this. Who is this for. Who greenlit this.
I am a miserable pile of questions right now. And I am DEFFFFFFF going to see this.
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
zeromayhem
