Yes. Good. (via)
who knew scots could read like this
“Mangled apricot hellbeast” even makes you adopt an accent as you read it.
is it weird that the one i laughed at was “spoon”
Yes. Good. (via)
who knew scots could read like this
“Mangled apricot hellbeast” even makes you adopt an accent as you read it.
is it weird that the one i laughed at was “spoon”
Anonymous asked:
reallybradjones answered:
This is true, he only hopped on that birther train AFTER he decided to run for President. Before then he only talked about John Derek movies and firing Meatloaf.
And he TOTALLY NEVER has been sued for discriminatory business practices as far back as 1973! And again in 1976! And throughout the 90s!
To Whom It May Concern:
A lot of people have expressed a desire for an update on President Donald J. Trump’s health since his inauguration. I have been the personal physician of President Donald J. Trump since 1980 and I am here to say that Mr. Trump’s health is absolutely better than ever.
Since being sworn in, Donald Trump has lost 50 pounds and gained 17 inches of height. He’s the longest president who has ever lived. His livers are both functioning flawlessly. His blood sets an all-time record for the state of New York for “most” and his blood pressure was rated “excellent” by seven different Fox News Twitter polls. He doesn’t even have one cholesterol.
I can say this unequivocally: Donald Trump has the most bones. Scientists estimate that he now has around 900 bones in his body and more are being discovered every day. Some of those bones have never been seen before. They allow him to be really good at presidential things like signing executive orders and making love nightly to his wife who wants him to.
Mr. Trump’s test results have been astonishingly excellent. He actually has a blood type we’ve never seen before: “All.” It’s both the universal donor and universal recipient, and sprinkling it on your penis makes your penis bigger. Mr. Trump’s blood is gorgeous. It has a rich color that’s hard to describe, but if I had to put it into words, I might call it “red.”
President Donald Trump has no family history of cancer, diabetes, or death. The president’s family members are immortal beings that walk the earth without end, craving the sweet release of death that will never come unless they make a deal with a cool witch. Donald Trump will never die, he will just keep growing vertically forever until he lives in space. It’s really astonishing.
His physical strength is extraordinary. He can lift as much as a mother whose child is trapped under a car, but he’s more attractive than that mother and he hasn’t let himself go like she has. Have you seen the way she dresses lately? The hypothetical mother in this simile is a total chunk. 4 at best. As the famous doctor Hippocrates once said, “Would not hit.”
Since the Inauguration, Mr. Trump has kept an extremely active lifestyle. He starts every morning by walking straight up into the sky and then walking down again. He also visits me regularly for checkups. Mr. Trump doesn’t let me touch him because of gay, so I just eyeball it and give him a once over. I can usually tell just by looking how much blood is in him that day or which liver has taken the lead, so it’s not a super intensive process.
Mr. Trump is not only the healthiest president that has ever served, but also the most handsome. I usually want to kiss President Trump when I see him, but I would never break the doctor-patient trust, so instead I kiss the portrait of him I drew on my little note pad. There have been no presidents that even come close to President Trump in terms of overall health and hotness. Franklin Pierce was pretty hot, but his body wasn’t great. James Garfield was more cute than hot. President Trump is the total package. I know this because of my stethoscope.
Just to give a little more background on me, I’ve been a doctor for years. I got into medicine the same way a lot of doctors do: I once took an unmarked pill that I found under a toilet in a public restroom, and the next thing I knew, I was blacked out doing surgery on a man on a Benihana table with the big knives they got over there. I flipped this guy’s appendix right into my hat. And that’s when I caught the bug, for surgery and for tetanus!
Now, I want to address some of the slanderous things that have been said about me. It’s just like these coastal elites to say I’m not qualified as a physician. They think you need fancy things, like a diploma from Harvard Med School or a diploma from a med school or a GED or a car or medicine or clean hands. You don’t need those to be a doctor! All you need is the right attitude and a good sense of humor and to be Jewish and a blank death certificate just in case!
This is America. We’re not “fancy” here. You’re supposed to be able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and put a bunch of clamps in a guy and see what tubes you can clamp up without making him sleep forever. My grandfather was a blue-collar worker, and so was my father. I am a red-collar worker because my collar is always covered in spurting blood. I may not know art or science or what a “lung” is, but I do know that I love America and am a lung-doctor!
Because of my love of America and Donald Trump, it is an honor to be his physician. Donald Trump could teach us all a thing or two about health. Not only is he the healthiest human ever, but also the healthiest dog, house and Faberge Egg. I wish him luck as he continues on his endless journey.
Love,
“Doctor” Harold N. Bornstein, M.D. (Mostly Doctor)
donald trump, back in 1999, when he was threatening to run for president
AN EMPTY THREAT
Guys, yesterday I got the TFP Top Trumps and omg the Ultra Magnus card
What a babe
Seriously, those legs. When you reach a certain rank in the autobots are legs like that mandatory or a requirement? Because their similar to the legs OP is packing.
Also they spelt Breakdown’s name wrong on his card asdfg they spelt it Brakedown
Megatron is the Top Trump u___u
Woo, Ultra Magnus!
jooyous asked:
pervocracy answered:
Sadly, no. I think he’s speaking sincerely to the subset of people who think that following the Constitution is for girls. There’s this weird masculinity subtext (or text) to Trump’s campaign, where he keeps positioning himself as the only candidate with “balls,” where listening to cooler heads or admitting you don’t have all the answers is symbolic castration. So Trump doesn’t have to be good or right to stay popular with the people who like him, he has to be ballsy.
This is leading him in increasingly bizarre and Hitlery directions as the race goes on.
Plus, obviously, separate from my weird gender analysis, he’s a giant racist.
Please don’t compare people to Hitler if you aren’t Jewish or Romani. Jewish and Romani people have been begging everyone to stop making Holocaust and Hitler comparisons for years and no one ever listens or cares about our wishes. Please stop.
…I’m Jewish. I’m a *German* Jew.
And personally, I’m just fine with people making Hitler comparisons, because this isn’t using “Hitlery” to mean “really bad,” it’s using it to mean “rightist demagogue encouraging scapegoating of minority religions and ethnicities in an extremely familiar way.”
And because learning from history is important. Avoiding Holocaust comparisons doesn’t feel respectful to me, it feels like saying “all we know for sure is it’s wrong to commit genocide in Europe in the 1940s, all other genocidal proposals should be judged on their own merits.” You can’t commit to “never again ” unless you acknowledge that it can happen again.
I am the great grandchild of Hungarian Jews who fled the precursors to what would become the Holocaust, and I endorse anyone and everyone pointing out the similarities between Trump and Hitler.
I’m Jewish - my grandmother’s ancestors fled Russia in the late 1800s for England and the United States. Some of my grandfather’s immediate family and a few cousins and aunts and uncles escaped from Germany and Poland in the 1930s. My grandmother and I sat down to work on our family tree last year and entire branches just ended. Whole families cut off. Most without official dates of death or causes or locations. Just guesses. Practically a whole section of my family simply, devastatingly ended in the 1940s.
Please, please, please continue the accurate and appropriately horrifying and upsetting comparisons of Trump to Hitler. People should be upset by him. People absolutely should be worried. As much as I want to laugh at him and imagine he could never get elected, I remember my great uncle Sol telling my sister and me how people used to laugh about Hitler too. “It could never happen. He is a joke.”
It is a responsibility to remember and to guard against. It is a responsibility to look at the horrors that were committed, not by evil or by monsters, but by men. People did that. People who had families and laughed and drank and danced and celebrated and tried to wipe out entire segments of the population. Just people.
I know it’s upsetting to be reminded. I know it’s awful and horrible and painful to think about and hear about. But we have a responsibility to not let the world forget and to not let the world imagine it could never happen again.
Trump and his jingoism, his fascism, his preying and playing on fear and ignorance and his certainty that he is never, never wrong and will never back down is exactly why we say, “Never forget.”
The US Holocaust Memorial Museum has called out Trump (and his ilk), saying American has a duty to Syrian refugees. The Anti-Defamation League says Trump’s plan to seal borders against Muslims is contrary to our nation’s deepest values.
These major Jewish organizations do *not* make these comparisons lightly. But this is the point of “Never forget” – so that we can see a catastrophe coming and make sure it never arrives.
The man literally admitted that he kept a copy of Hitler’s speeches in his nightstand, which he “received as a gift, but didn’t read.” He’s drawn comparisons with Syrian refugees to the internment of Japanese-Americans during WWII, considered one of the most shameful acts of our administration on home soil during that time, and has hinted that he’d like to do the same for American Muslims.
His speeches regarding People of Color are heavily sanitized, safe-for-TV diatribes on white supremacism. He’s publicly endorsed by white supremacist hate groups, including the KKK. They absolutely love him and they’re out there campaigning for him.
And he’s spouting the exact same kind of rhetoric that Hitler did during his rise to power. “Our country is no longer the glorious place it once was. We need to become STRONG again! You see that ethnic/religious group? THEY’RE to blame for all your problems! And if I’m elected, I’ll get rid of them…in perfectly legal and humane ways, of course. -winkwink-”
This isn’t “Let’s Compare A Bad Thing To Hitler;” this is “A Serious Presidential Candidate Is Literally Espousing the Same Views As Hitler In A Modern Setting AND THIS IS BEYOND BAD.”
Also, it’s a separate issue, but let’s not forget that he’s declared bankruptcy four times to get out of paying his debts, deliberately exploits loopholes to pay as little tax as possible (because he thinks the government doesn’t need more money for “wasteful” social programs even though he’s one of the richest men in the world), physically and sexually assaulted his ex-wife and then threatened legal action to bully her into recanting her statement, and has made disturbingly inappropriate remarks about his own daughter to boot. And that’s not even touching his past litanies on why poor people, non-whites, non-Christians, “the gays,” and “uppity” women are destroying America.
Bottom Line: Donald Trump is a horrible person who would make a disastrous president, and none of that is hyperbole. He is a huge glaring symbol of everything that is wrong with our country, and if he becomes President, there WILL be a disaster. And I will be emigrating to Canada.
kind of surprised smallswingshoes response persists on her blog after all that
Because I still stand by it. When goyim don’t care about the Jews who are suffering now and only talk about us to use us as rhetorical props, it bothers me quite a bit. Especially when people always seem to only ever compare him to Hitler. If it was really about people wanting to find accurate comparisons, there are plenty of people throughout history that he’s also like.
When people started comparing the anti-MOGAI laws attempting to be passed in some states to Jim Crow laws, it was rightfully pointed out that that wasn’t okay because it’s co-opting someone else’s tragedy that still affects that group today for one’s own purpose. Why is it okay to do it to Jews and Romani? Why is it always our tragedy that gets co-opted for everyone else’s political purposes while far, far too many activists have literally told Jews and Romani to get over the Holocaust or stop making it all about us? (And those activists never really get called out for it. When Jews and Romani call them out, most activists I follow remain dead silent when they normally spread awareness on other issues.)
And activists who care about a lot of oppression and anti-racism and feminism have a long history of deeply-held anti-semitism. I’ve also seen a very bad habit of activists only selectively listening to the Jews they agree with and ignoring those of us who don’t, regardless of how many there are who believe either way.
I’m a little annoyed that you checked my blog to see that this was still there but didn’t apparently read anything else I’ve said on the subject, much less what anyone else has said on the subject.
So you still “stand by” telling a Jewish person to “please stop” making Hitler comparisons, because only Jewish people can make Hitler comparisons.
Okay.
*throws up hands*
jooyous asked:
pervocracy answered:
Sadly, no. I think he’s speaking sincerely to the subset of people who think that following the Constitution is for girls. There’s this weird masculinity subtext (or text) to Trump’s campaign, where he keeps positioning himself as the only candidate with “balls,” where listening to cooler heads or admitting you don’t have all the answers is symbolic castration. So Trump doesn’t have to be good or right to stay popular with the people who like him, he has to be ballsy.
This is leading him in increasingly bizarre and Hitlery directions as the race goes on.
Plus, obviously, separate from my weird gender analysis, he’s a giant racist.
Please don’t compare people to Hitler if you aren’t Jewish or Romani. Jewish and Romani people have been begging everyone to stop making Holocaust and Hitler comparisons for years and no one ever listens or cares about our wishes. Please stop.
…I’m Jewish. I’m a *German* Jew.
And personally, I’m just fine with people making Hitler comparisons, because this isn’t using “Hitlery” to mean “really bad,” it’s using it to mean “rightist demagogue encouraging scapegoating of minority religions and ethnicities in an extremely familiar way.”
And because learning from history is important. Avoiding Holocaust comparisons doesn’t feel respectful to me, it feels like saying “all we know for sure is it’s wrong to commit genocide in Europe in the 1940s, all other genocidal proposals should be judged on their own merits.” You can’t commit to “never again ” unless you acknowledge that it can happen again.
I am the great grandchild of Hungarian Jews who fled the precursors to what would become the Holocaust, and I endorse anyone and everyone pointing out the similarities between Trump and Hitler.
I’m Jewish - my grandmother’s ancestors fled Russia in the late 1800s for England and the United States. Some of my grandfather’s immediate family and a few cousins and aunts and uncles escaped from Germany and Poland in the 1930s. My grandmother and I sat down to work on our family tree last year and entire branches just ended. Whole families cut off. Most without official dates of death or causes or locations. Just guesses. Practically a whole section of my family simply, devastatingly ended in the 1940s.
Please, please, please continue the accurate and appropriately horrifying and upsetting comparisons of Trump to Hitler. People should be upset by him. People absolutely should be worried. As much as I want to laugh at him and imagine he could never get elected, I remember my great uncle Sol telling my sister and me how people used to laugh about Hitler too. “It could never happen. He is a joke.”
It is a responsibility to remember and to guard against. It is a responsibility to look at the horrors that were committed, not by evil or by monsters, but by men. People did that. People who had families and laughed and drank and danced and celebrated and tried to wipe out entire segments of the population. Just people.
I know it’s upsetting to be reminded. I know it’s awful and horrible and painful to think about and hear about. But we have a responsibility to not let the world forget and to not let the world imagine it could never happen again.
Trump and his jingoism, his fascism, his preying and playing on fear and ignorance and his certainty that he is never, never wrong and will never back down is exactly why we say, “Never forget.”
The US Holocaust Memorial Museum has called out Trump (and his ilk), saying American has a duty to Syrian refugees. The Anti-Defamation League says Trump’s plan to seal borders against Muslims is contrary to our nation’s deepest values.
These major Jewish organizations do *not* make these comparisons lightly. But this is the point of “Never forget” – so that we can see a catastrophe coming and make sure it never arrives.
The man literally admitted that he kept a copy of Hitler’s speeches in his nightstand, which he “received as a gift, but didn’t read.” He’s drawn comparisons with Syrian refugees to the internment of Japanese-Americans during WWII, considered one of the most shameful acts of our administration on home soil during that time, and has hinted that he’d like to do the same for American Muslims.
His speeches regarding People of Color are heavily sanitized, safe-for-TV diatribes on white supremacism. He’s publicly endorsed by white supremacist hate groups, including the KKK. They absolutely love him and they’re out there campaigning for him.
And he’s spouting the exact same kind of rhetoric that Hitler did during his rise to power. “Our country is no longer the glorious place it once was. We need to become STRONG again! You see that ethnic/religious group? THEY’RE to blame for all your problems! And if I’m elected, I’ll get rid of them…in perfectly legal and humane ways, of course. -winkwink-”
This isn’t “Let’s Compare A Bad Thing To Hitler;” this is “A Serious Presidential Candidate Is Literally Espousing the Same Views As Hitler In A Modern Setting AND THIS IS BEYOND BAD.”
Also, it’s a separate issue, but let’s not forget that he’s declared bankruptcy four times to get out of paying his debts, deliberately exploits loopholes to pay as little tax as possible (because he thinks the government doesn’t need more money for “wasteful” social programs even though he’s one of the richest men in the world), physically and sexually assaulted his ex-wife and then threatened legal action to bully her into recanting her statement, and has made disturbingly inappropriate remarks about his own daughter to boot. And that’s not even touching his past litanies on why poor people, non-whites, non-Christians, “the gays,” and “uppity” women are destroying America.
Bottom Line: Donald Trump is a horrible person who would make a disastrous president, and none of that is hyperbole. He is a huge glaring symbol of everything that is wrong with our country, and if he becomes President, there WILL be a disaster. And I will be emigrating to Canada.
kind of surprised smallswingshoes response persists on her blog after all that
The Jetsons takes place in 2062, and George Jetson is 40 years old, which means that somewhere right now George Jetson is being conceived.
So you’re young and queer and everything you know about sex has come from porn because nobody’s teaching it to you at school and frankly some of what you’ve witnessed is terrifying. You’re intrigued by sex and your hormones are raging and you want to have sex but you don’t want to get fisted while someone beats you with a cheese grater. You’re young and your baseline state of being is *uncomfortable* and *powerless* and you just want some semblance of control and something resembling comfort and you want to find people who don’t make you feel so weird all the time. You see queer people reveling in being weird, and you’re panicking that people think you’re like that because the last thing you want is to be seen as weird. You’re gay but you’re not gay-gay, you’re normal if you can just ignore this one small difference.
And then here comes a group of people who commiserate with you, but only on the surface. They, too, hate how weird Pride is, how weird queer culture is, how terrifying queer sexuality is, how awful kink is. They tell you that your discomfort is actually a form of harm, that nobody should ever make you think about the things you don’t want to think about, that you should be protected from it. They use the language of social justice and it feels like social justice to you. People are doing things to you! Without your consent! It’s psychic rape! How dare they?
But then you get older and you scratch beneath the surface and remove the masks and find that underneath, those people who told you that you were being harmed were intense homophobes, who found queer sexuality terrifying because they found queer people terrifying. They don’t “consent” to queers being sexy or kinky because they don’t “consent” to queers existing. They consider all sex bad, and queer people as inherently sexual, so queer people are inherently bad unless they go out of their way to desexualize themselves as much as possible. And you find that they’re transphobes and terfs and they consider trans identities to be fetishes and this is why they want to hide fetish. As soon as they’re done driving all the sexy, kinky, trans queers into hiding with your help, they can move onto the less outrageous queers. They’re moving onto you, even though you’d never call yourself queer because you’re young and uncomfortable and afraid of being weird. They’re uncomfortable and they learned that their discomfort was harm and they never sat down to examine those feelings. They’re the Karens of the world calling the cops on black folks for just existing in their vicinity. They think children should be completely sheltered from all that liberal nonsense.
And the queer elders try to speak up, try to tell the young ones about our history, but it’s so hard when we keep getting entire generations wiped out in the holocaust and the AIDS crisis. Our books burned and our people left for dead. Half of those left only survived through assimilation and internalizing that they needed to shed all of their queerness and become plastic Barbies and Kens, perfect and sexless, and this worked for them, in a way, in that they survived, so they think that this is a reasonable solution. Just cover up and get married and live quietly. Disown the loud queers, the ones still demanding more, the ones still pushing boundaries, the ones who don’t want to hide, who question the rules. They rewrite history to say gay rights were won when marriage was won and now the fight is over and anyone who is still complaining should shut up, lest our overlords hear and take away what little we were allowed to have.
The truth of the matter is that people are more naked at the beach than at Pride. Kink harnesses are normalized in fashion everywhere. Overt displays of heterosexual sexuality are everywhere. Children are not harmed by this. They will not be harmed by all of this in a queer context. No one will be harmed by this because discomfort is not harm and it was never about that. It was about hijacking discomfort for an anti-queer agenda. It’s being driven largely by sheltered teens and homophobes taking advantage of them. But the internet is a big stew where those people have the same platform and reach as queer historians and activists and hot takes spread faster than research and knowledge. We don’t have to engage. It’s settled. It’s done. Wear your gimp mask to Pride. The kids are alright.