Charlie Brown Christmas Dances, Ranked
8. Violet’s dance suggests that Mrs. Othmar was right not to let her use the big kid scissors. I have pantophobia about her landing one of those right uppercuts.
7. Sally will never win over her Sweet Babboo if she dances like your aunt when she hears Love Shack at a wedding.
6. When comedians in the 80s talked about how “White people be dancin’ like this”, Shermy is what they were talking about.
5. 4′s dance, (that’s her name) is identical to her twin sister’s but points off due to proximity to cloud of filth emanating from upright bass player
4. Points off when you learn that the synchronized dance these two are doing is called the “Come Play With Us, Danny.”
3. Later in the evening, Linus would improbably quote the book of Luke from the very stage he befouled with his dirty dog pelvic thrusts. This sums up the complicated “Adult Children” dynamic of the Peanuts universe very nicely.
2. Frieda’s joyful tossing gesture looks like she is some sort of heroic medieval lord distributing some sort of grain from the folds of her billowing shirts to a throng of grateful serfs, which is very much in line with the message of Linus’s aforementioned speech.
1. Fancy footwork. Smooth shoulder rolls. Funky head bobbing. This kid’s a bad ass, the “guy in P-Funk who wears nothing but a diaper” of the Peanuts crew. He probably stopping appearing in the strip because he left to choreograph Michael Jackson videos, or maybe it was because his character’s name was 555 95472 and that is one of the dumbest ideas ever to appear in Schulz’s strip.
As “5” explains to Charlie Brown in the strip from October 1, 1963, his father, morose and hysterical over the preponderance of numbers in people’s lives, changed all of his family’s names to numbers. Asked by Lucy if it was Mr. 95472’s way of protesting, “5” replies that this was actually his father’s way of “giving in.”
never forget how insanely depressing Peanuts could be
chrismcfeely
