Okay so I made that romance novel, does anyone have the link to the website that makes photoshops become real??
Also check out the one Chandra made! AWESOME.
Okay a lot of stuff happens on these two pages (206-207) so let’s get right to it! None of it’s in the movie though so I get to use an unrelated picture. LOOK HOW CUTE THAT DOG IS!! HOLY CRAP.
Marty and Lorraine are still in the car and Marty’s looking for George, but he lies to Lorraine and tells him he’s looking for Mr. Strickland ( Str❣ckland? See it’s supposed to be an “i” with a heart on top, look, nevermind) and Lorraine says that he’s got enough to worry about inside, slides up close to him, and… asks him about his parents? But it’s a really convenient line because it lets Marty say “Lately I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t know anything about them.” OH SNAP.
Then we’re back with George inside the school! George feels sick about this whole plan! And the way Gipe describes how George feel is AMAZING:
George felt weak and cold and on the verge of fainting, like the time he’d stuck his finger in the gears of a portable cement mixer his father had rented and nearly severed the end of it.
It’s emotional description, backstory, insanely useless detail (the cement mixer was a rental! WRITE THAT DOWN) plus Family Guy “like that time I” asides all in one!
Anyway this portable cement-mixer level of pain is giving him stomach problems “too powerfully unrelenting to ignore” so he goes to poop. And it’s new character time with Class prankster Mark Dixon! Only it turns out he’s not new because check out this Futurepedia page: turns out Mark is the dude who
- put the kick me sign on George earlier
- will cut in on George’s dance with Lorraine
- locks George in the washroom in the scene coming up
- locks George in a telephone booth in a deleted scene from the movie based on this novel scene coming up
So what happens is that due to his powerfully unrelenting spasms, George slams the bathroom door open really hard, “so hard it seemed as if a raid were in progress” and Dixon (Gipe consistently refers to this character by his last name for some reason) thinks it’s Strickland and drops his cigarette in the urinal. ”That son of a bitch made me lose my last weed” Dixon says (this is marginally better than “that son of a bitch made me lose my last drug”), and then he says “He’s gonna have to pay for that” and ambles towards the stall George is in.
Back to the car!
This paragraph coming up is - something. I’ve mentioned before how the movie does a lot of work to make the plan involving Marty and Lorraine as palatable and non-rapey as possible, but this book is doing the opposite, going so far as to describe what’s about to happen as “an assault”. Yep. Also, it has Gipe describing what women want and has a hypothetical Lorraine concluding that Marty is retarded. LET’S BEGIN, SHALL WE?
Acutely aware that there is a fine line during which a woman can be romanced successfully, Marty sat nervously in Doc Brown’s Packard, Lorraine’s hip firmly pressed against his. She was ready to be kissed and then touched, hopefully just enough to insult her, create fear and anger and the need for a new champion to rescue her. Marty’s dilemma was one of timing. If he went after her too soon, he would be forced to continue the assault until George came - and perhaps it would be over too soon. If, on the other hand, he continued sitting here like a genial lump, Lorraine might conclude that he was either retarded or that she had no appeal. In either case, her next logical move would be out of the car, back to the dance and out of his life, probably forever.
Where the hell is that chickenshit father of mine, Marty thought.
I think the best note to conclude on here is that “She Was Ready To Be Kissed And Then Touched” is the best title for a romance novel ever and if any of you have a completed novel but need a title, this one is… kinda perfect in every conceivable way??
