Our local post office is a bunch of postage nerds, and not in the fun way. I avoid them for most things because they’re the guys who keep returning perfectly fine shit to me because it set off their nerd senses. Everywhere else in town mails my stuff fine. It’s just this one location. And I thought it was just one delivery man.
But, aha, no! It is the whole lot of them!
When I mail out books, I mail out a looooot of books. And I know that, because of terrorism, you can’t just drop off a bunch of prepaid envelopes at the counter. They want to confirm that you’re not a terrorist
by looking at you and making sure that you’re white. So, hey, I drop off a stack of prepaid envelopes on the counter, say to the postal worker at the counter, hey, these are already stamped, so I’m gonna leave them here. They nod, I leave.
I know they have to process these things later, one by one, and so I try to not drop them all off in one place. There’s a lot of post offices near me, so no big deal. I make a big round trip, sprinkling envelopes everywhere so that one postal worker at the end of the day isn’t processing a hundred envelopes. It’s extra time for me, but I don’t want to be more of a jerk than I have to be.
So today I bring a stack of envelopes to the Bad Location. It’s the second stop of three. The lady at the counter stops me. Hey, you can’t just leave those here. You have to wait in line with everyone else. …Okay, sure, I’ll stand here while you process these things, one by one, I guess? All 35 of them? Oh, there wasn’t a line when I started, but there sure was when I was done. That line was going out the door, and this wasn’t a small post office, this was a huge regional one. And every single one of these people was staring at me like I was the fucking devil. And I don’t blame them. I was standing here for about 15 minutes, taking up actual open post office hours just so this lady could put “$0.00” postage stickers on all 35 of my envelopes and stamp them in my presence.
The cherry on top was when she finished, and then out printed my receipt… for another two minutes, because it was kind of long.
I’m thinking of framing it. Or maybe burning it. Or taking a shit on it and then burning it, then framing it, and then burying it.
Long story short, these guys are friggin’ bureaucrats. They are postage nerds. And I’ve discovered one less thing I can go to their location for. Yikes, dude.
and I still have four hundred books left to go
- texasuberalles said: Maybe you could just mail the envelopes to someone else and they can mail them FOR you and
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- empireinmymind said: We don’t have people like that over here anymore…cause we don’t have postal service run post offices. So it’s the people at the local supermarket who have better things to do that be anal about this kind of stuff.
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